Ugh…. . . . . . . . .
THere are few things I hate more than the times when I hate myself. I just got suspended from school for 3 days. This is all on top of the fact that I got kicked out of English and simply haven’t been happy in school for a while. It makes me wonder if there is anthing I can do about it. I have decided I’m not gonna delete anything I write except for typos in today’s blog.
I got suspended for cheating on a math quiz. I had a little card in my calculator that I keep there along with some other little cards on which I have written various formulae and methods. Someone saw me with the card and apparently decided to rat. I’m pretty certain who this is, but not 100%, and I know certain is poorly used there. I’m not gonna change it. Just letting it flow.
Mrs. Becktold wants me to figure out if I really belong in the Wakefield “community,” if so, then what has to change, and if not, then what. She wants me to try and figure it out over the 3 days I don’t have school. Hopefully, at least, I’ll get more sleep…
My Mom suggested I make a list of what I like and don’t like about myself, and I like that idea. So here goes.
I LIKE:
…that I’m capable of doing beautiful things. You know, like art and stuff.
…that I’m not one of the millions of people who confuse “lose” and “loose”
or write “u” when I mean “you.”
…that I’m not afraid to punish my little dachsund when she does something
wrong. She isn’t too cute to stop me from discipline.
…that I have good taste in movies and TV shows.
…that I’m always getting better at what I do.
…that everything I know about Photoshop (well, almost everything) is
self-learned.
…that I’ve known how to use the internet since, I think, the first grade.
…that I’m a contrarian, even if that gets me into trouble occasionally.
…that I know a lot more about politics than many of my peers.
…that I’m able to shun religion. And yes, I know that may piss certain
people off, and not win friends.
…that my dogs love me.
I DON’T LIKE:
…the way I never trust in my own opinions.
…the fact that I fear all my friends secretly hate me.
…that I’m far too easily distracted.
…that I (almost) never finish what I set out to do.
…it when I break the rules I set out for me.
…the fact that I am a damned dirty hipocryte. (Did I spell that right?)
…how fucking lazy I am.
…my personal system of ethics. This one time, in the eighth grade, there was this girl named VIcky, and she was frequently mean to me. One day, she got a seizure, and then, two weeks later, another seizure. She left the school after that, and I was happy about it.
I think I know at least a portio of what I have to work on… Ugh… oh well.