Pretends to be Dumb - The musings and writings of:
Brian "Ayavaron" Jeffrey Ross II

This is a conversation I recently had on AOL Instant Messenger. It totally creeped me out but here its. Apparently, though, it was just a prank done by someone who got on [Anonymous]’s Screen Name. It was very strange and I thought I’d dreamed it. However, the chat log was there.

And when I showed some friends at school, they thought it was hilarious. I couldn’t help but want to entertain my readers so here it is. It is one painfully akward and excruciating conversation.

[Anonymous]: hey
[Anonymous]: Brian Ross?

Brian Ross: Hello stranger
Brian Ross: Yes this is Brian Ross.

[Anonymous]: this is [Anonymous]

[Note - This is a friend who used to go to my school last year and she no longer goes to that school.]

[Anonymous]: hello.

Brian Ross: Oh hello.

[Anonymous]: do you think im hot?

Brian Ross: I don’t remember.

[Anonymous]: dont play like that.

Brian Ross: Honestly, I’m really bad at remembering people in general.
Brian Ross: You know I still get [Name Removed] and [Name Removed] mixed up?

[Anonymous]: oh………………………………………………….
[Anonymous]: fuck
[Anonymous]: fuck
[Anonymous]: fuck

Brian Ross: Yea. I’m pretty pathetic when it comes to that.

[Anonymous]: waut…
[Anonymous]: wait…
[Anonymous]: i forgot to ask
[Anonymous]: why did you want to watch me hanging from a bridge?
[Anonymous]: kinda sexy if you ask me

Brian Ross: I don’t even remember what that has to do anything, when I said that, or when anyone ever said anything about hanging from a bridge.

[Anonymous]: oh okay… well can you draw mw a picture of it?

Brian Ross: huh? Why?
Brian Ross: This really sounds very weird.

[Anonymous]: well…. okay… then you can draw me a picture of me playing jump rope… in my underware
[Anonymous]: i read that you can… for money

Brian Ross: Where’d you read that?

[Anonymous]: in the yearbook

Brian Ross: OH… yea. I forgot abotu that.
Brian Ross: I kinda didn’t expect anyone to ever answer.

[NOTE - Last year I wason the yearbook comittee and in the doing of teh ad pages, I discovered that there was a half of a page unfilled. I decided (with permission) to put an ad there. Basically the ad was, “I’m Brian Ross. I draw stuff for money.” It was kind of a joke.]
[Anonymous]: okay…. well draw a hot picture of me and give it to Mrs. Hauger
[Anonymous]: actuallyy… no
[NOTE - Mrs. Hauger is a teacher at my school.]

Brian Ross: I don’t even remember what you look like.

[Anonymous]: give it to [Name Removed], my sister
[Anonymous]: well, look in your yearbook

Brian Ross: That is an option but also, I am quite seriously creeped out by this whole conversation.

[Anonymous]: why…

Brian Ross: I dunno, there is just something wholly creepy about this.
Brian Ross: Intangibly so.

[Anonymous]: whatever… ill pay you

Brian Ross: That doesn’t exactly make it seem less creepy.

[Anonymous]: whatever… just do what i tell you
[Anonymous]: i throw in a bottle of head-and-shoulders
[Anonymous]: just kidding bout that
[Anonymous]: are you going to do it?

Brian Ross: I don’t think I am.

[Anonymous]: wtf wtf?
[Anonymous]: omg who is this
[Anonymous]: that was my crazy ass girlfriend

Brian Ross: Well she was definitely crazy.
Brian Ross: Quite absolutely insane.

[Anonymous]: she was harassing my friends

Brian Ross: Good to know I’m a friend.

[Anonymous]: omg….. yeah well being a lesbien sucks when your dating a psycopath

Brian Ross: I imagine anything would suck when dating a psychopath.

[Anonymous]: she even calls me the “rug doctor” in public

Brian Ross: That sounds quite wholly embarassing.

[Anonymous]: looks like we cant afterall
[Anonymous]: ewww. that was her again
[Anonymous]: please dont tell anyone im a lesbien

Brian Ross: I am probably going to try and forget this entire thing.

[Anonymous]: oh okay……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
[Anonymous]: acyually… if you would please tell EVERYONE that i’m a lesbien i would appreciate it
[Anonymous]: do you have a myspace?

Brian Ross: I shall go with my present plan of attempting to forget abotu this entire conversation.
Brian Ross: I have better than a Myspace, I have a blog.
Brian Ross: www.ayavaron.com
Brian Ross: But I do not have a Myspace.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 27th, 2006 at 8:21 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.